Little Bastard Girl

Editorial note: Laysa was a little squeamish about sharing, but we encouraged her to do so. It is raw (so be prepared!), but not in a way that is unseemly. Ultimately, it’s uplifting. We are thankful for her candor!

——

poetry (1).jpeg

by Laysa Miller

Little bastard girl

With small almond eyes

None would believe

That you’d even try

 

And so right they were

Cause you went with the flow

Sinking, gliding, dying

Down the wide road

 

Little bastard girl

So full of anger and grief

Liked to dance with a knife

Till it brought her relief

Her desire to be loved

Cut deep like that knife

Come on little girl,

Just one more kiss,

One more touch,

One more thrust,

And surely one will make you his wife

 

He’ll treasure you dearly

But only at night

And only at times when

The moment is right

 

Until the day you know comes

And he’s gone when you rise

And you cry broken-hearted

In your bed made of lies

 

Little bastard girl

With seams that are bursting

With shame, hatred, anger, and pain

Come on little girl,

Just one more pill,

One more cut,

One more try,

Just end all the suffering

It’s too much to contain

 

Little bastard girl

For you my heart breaks

For your unwanted life

With its pains and its aches

 

Drowning in darkness

With no end in sight

Until one day appears a

Painfully blinding, but beautiful light

 

And suddenly how

Precious it did appear

No longer a bastard, little girl

But by grace drawn near

 

Adopted, made new

And holy and pure

Set apart from this world

In His hands held secure

 

You’re beautiful, righteous,

And forever redeemed

By a love never ending,

His perpetual theme

 

Your sins in the west

And you in the east

Your life displays mercy

For you were the least

 

No more guilt, no more shame,

No more of this unbearable pain,

Of this world, no more rubbish,

Because Jesus is gain